Of Satellite Campuses and 'Satellite' Graduates

There is an evil that has defied every logical reasoning when you consider university education in Nigeria. It is the evil called satellite education, taught in Satellite campuses of certain universities. The way and manner this brand of 'university' education is being peddled lends weight to the allegation that it is all a money making venture with very little academic output (in terms of quality) to show for it. It is a great shame that the authorities would allow this to go on for so long. What is more worrisome is that this evil is gaining ground at a time graduates from the main campuses supposedly with the benefit of full university facilities like libraries, infrastructure and full-fledged academic staff are churning out half-baked graduates who are masters of 'sorting' more than masters of their disciplines. It's a huge joke, a charade of gargantuan proportions.

While the reasons for the establishment of these appendage institutions appear plausible, it does not warrant the bastardization of our educational system just to capture a segment of the population who otherwise do not stand the chance to gain admission into regular university programmes. The premise itself is faulty to suppose everybody must have university education. Some students in these institutions would benefit more from vocational education. Take the case of my driver friend for instance. He just completed his 'bachelor' programme in one of these satellite institutions but his application to convert to a  graduate staff of his bank has met with failure because the bank (not surprisingly) refused to recognise his 'certificate'. He would not have fared worse if he had opted for a vocational institution to train him to manage the bank's fleet of vehicles or gain training which would have enabled him to add value to the skills of his driver colleagues. He would have earned higher than his present driver status (with a 'B.Sc.').

The bank's reasons may not be far-fetched. They know that his certificate was procured without the benefit of reading any text books (just hand-outs), it was a certificate procured within the precincts of a dilapidated primary school with hardly the facilities for any rigorous tertiary academic exercise; it was a certificate procured from teachers who would hardly qualify to be graduate assistants in any university of note. If you are lax to accept this fellow as a graduate, wait until you hear him articulate his thoughts. He has a certificate but he lacks education. He is not numerate, he lacks the confidence of a thorough-bred university graduate. While I admit that there are exceptions, I am doubtful if these exceptions excuse the existence of these sub-standard institutions.

The Nigerian Universities Commission must wake up to its onerous responsibilities to stamp out these institutions and transfer the students to the Open University system which  is configured to cater for the needs of adult students and those who cannot run regular university programmes. We shall all be happier to have a system that caters for all but does not compromise standards.

Whither the Nigerian Graduate?

It is a topic I regret to discuss but the more I try to fend it off the weightier the burden - on my shoulders I mean. Have you heard a Nigerian graduate speak English lately? I mean graduates, yes graduates from even those universities we regard as centres of excellence. Hear their graduates speak! Sometimes one is left to wonder whether these so-called graduates ever saw the four walls of the university. Any attempt to correct their spoken or written English is often met with an embarrassing riposte along the lines of, "English is not my mother tongue..." But The Use of English As A Foreign Language is among the very first courses to be taught in the first year in any university worth its salt. So how come these people passed through the university without a mastery of or at worse, a passing acquaintance with the language? The logical question is how on earth did they pass their exams? The next logical question is who marked their exam scripts? Which begs the almighty question, were the lecturers incompetent or sorted (settled)? I hear that it is more the latter than the former!

We have certainly heard tales about the goings-on in Nigerian universities. They are disgusting. The rot starts from the gates, right up to the highest citadel on campus. There is a total break down of the system. The student wants to get a certificate without any effort; the lecturer wants to get rich (or the lecherous ones want to ingratiate their appetite for female flesh). The university is therefore the common ground, the market to transact this ignoble business to the detriment of our educational system and advancement. And so you have lecturers buying expensive cars or building expensive houses from monies collected from students! The lascivious lecturers I believe have a long list of their 'conquests' laminated, framed and hung in the walls of their dirty hearts. But the real losers is the society, the Nigerian nation.

It is indeed a tragedy of immense proportions to turn out an army of unemployable graduates every year. So-called graduates are pounding the streets clutching certificates held up side down in search of jobs! The country needs manpower in every sector. There are gaps to be filled in technology as in the arts. As an employer myself, I can do no worse than try to conduct interviews to fill up vacant positions in my companies. It's always a nightmare to speak to 'graduates' who know next to nothing in their disciplines. They all want to 'learn' on the job. Yes, but get the job first! The entrance interview comes first! This reminds me of a relation who resides in the village and who barely understands pidgin English not to talk of English Language. Yet she was in her second year at a 'satellite' campus (more on that later) of a university. She wanted financial assistance to (hold your breath), pay entrance fee at the examination hall and another to pay for someone to write the exams for her since she resides 24/7 in the village. So when I asked her which type of certificate she intended to get from the school, she said she had no idea. When I asked if she knew what a Bachelor's degree was, she answered in the negative. When asked if she intended to find work with the 'certificate' after graduation, she eagerly answered in the affirmative. I rested my case there and there! Of course, I did not oblige her and she left me in no doubt that I was an obstacle to her 'progress'!

The pathetic state of the universities and their graduates is certainly something to engage the attention of government at all levels. A state of emergency is crying to be declared in that sector. It would require nothing more than a clarion call to return to basics. Government can return to basics by investing massively to restore universities to their pristine states; teachers can return to basics by re-inventing and purging themselves of all avarice and non-academic proclivities. University administrators can return to basics by striving hard to promote academic excellence by creatively utilising available resources. After all, a university is a citadel of learning and research. All over the world, the university is a place where problems are solved through research, so solving this monumental problem should not be a problem.